He has already left the country for another year of procrastination on the North Pole, and probably annoying Mrs. Kringle, but before you know it, it's December again. So, when you're too busy to sit down and write that old-fashioned letter to Santa, this handy-dandy interweb doo-dad can do the heavy lifting for you!
The Generator wrote this letter to Santa:
Dear Obese Trespassing Altruist,
This year, I have been a very good little boy. I have not lied, and I have always helped my daddy with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!
Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring Valium. For my daddy, please bring a new dead-end job. For my little sister, please bring a subscription to Guns and Ammo. For my hampster, please bring breath mints.
Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith action figures, and front row tickets to Mary-Kate and Ashley. Oh, and please don't forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can't, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!
Anyway, I hope you like the meatloaf I left out for you.
[ Dear Santa Letter Generator ]